Remember Me
by madladypoet
Summary: John Preston Remembers His Wife
1. Chapter 1

_Remembrance—Chapter One_

John Preston stretched out as far as he could on his twin bed and stared at the window. He sighed. He could never stare out of the window because the view had been blocked out by white adhesive. Although staring out the window was not a sense offense, the feelings stirred up by the weather were, so all buildings with windows were blocked out by white adhesive. Normally, this did not bother Preston since he was outside all day anyway, but today, he would have liked to have seen a view.

For the first time in four years, John thought of his spouse. Dupont, the vice counsel to Father, had reminded Preston that John's wife had been terminated for sense offense. Since the day of her arrest, Preston had blocked all thoughts of his spouse from his mind, especially since as one of the highest-ranking clerics in the Grammaton, he was held to the highest standards in the country. After his spouse's termination, Preston had become colder, harder and in the words of his brand new partner, even more uncompromising. If any person in the Grammaton wondered about Preston's loyalty, John's brutality quickly quashed those thoughts. Even Preston's own children had grown even more wary of their father. Soon, all trace of Preston's spouse were gone.

Yet today, she had been reborn from the lips of the vice counsel.

John shook his head and slowly fell asleep. He dreamed of his spouse for the first time since her death. He had been walking into the hallway when he stopped to watch her. He always enjoyed watching her. She was folding clothes and had turned when she dropped a belt. She bent to pick it up and looked up to see him watching her. He continued to stare as she smiled at him. Their eyes seemed to connect for the first time in their marriage when the door burst open from the outside.

It was the sense police. Realizing they were about to arrest his spouse, John did something unforgivable: he rushed to defend her. He nearly killed one police officer and held a gun to the throat of another. Preston was not thinking, but working on pure instinct. He would have killed all of them to defend his spouse. That, in itself, was a sense offense worthy of termination. To calm Preston's killing rage, a police officer told him that his spouse was guilty of sense offense. The charge was enough to shock Preston who slowly turned to look at his wife.

She was calm, staring at him as if she had never really seen him before today. She realized at this moment that her spouse actually felt something for her too. Suddenly, she broke away from the police officer's grip and ran toward Preston. Wrapping her arms around her spouse, she kissed him with a passion that neither had experienced before. The police officers pulled her off and she stared into Preston's shocked face and said two words: Remember me.

Preston awoke with his spouse's face on his mind. He did remember her. In fact, the vice counsel had opened painful memories that Preston would have rather left untouched. No matter how many doses of Prozium he took, Preston still remembered his wife.


	2. Chapter 2

_Courtship—Chapter Two_

He remembered the first time he saw her.

She was walking beside his old partner Partridge toward the car. Her dark hair was placed tightly in a bun, and she was wearing the light grey clothes of a junior cleric. Partridge introduced her as a junior cleric and Preston nodded at her curtly. Inside though, he experienced an unfamiliar feeling. His body had heated at the sight of her. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair. Driving the car to the next sense offense, he watched her sitting through the rear view mirror. She was staring out the window and quietly she turned and made eye contact with him. Preston turned away.

Preston continued to watch her obsessively. He watched her as she worked at his desk. He watched she trained with the other junior clerics. He watched as she walked toward home. He watched but never touched her as dating was forbidden. In order to marry, a man had to apply for a license and then he and his potential spouse had to undergo a rigorous screening process to ensure that the couple could bear children. Preston had considered marriage an option as a way to rid himself of these unbearable feelings, but knew that a high-ranking cleric would never be allowed to marry a junior cleric.

One day, a raid on a group of sense offenders changed his mind.

Preston, Partridge and the girl along with sense police were on a raid of potential sense offenders outside of the quarantine area. This raid was particularly bloody as most of the sense police were killed. Preston and Partridge killed most of the sense offenders, but one captured the girl. Preston, his senses highly inflamed by the potential loss of his obsession, killed the man in a rather brutal manner. While Preston was disposing of the man, Partridge was helping the girl up. She had a severe cut on her hand. In order to help her, Partridge took off his gloves to administer first aid. When Preston reached them, he saw that Partridge and the girl had skin and skin contact. Partridge was gently caressing the girl's hand and John saw a small smile appear on the girl's face. Preston felt a deep rage erupt in him again. What right did Partridge have to touch his girl?

The thought stopped Preston cold. His girl? She did not belong to him in any way, but that didn't matter. All he knew is that he could not allow anyone else to have her. Striding over to the pair, Preston grabbed her arm and wrenched it up until he had painfully twisted it. The girl gasped in pain and Partridge immediately moved in to protect her. One look on Preston's face stopped his partner cold. Turning back to the girl, he saw that she had tears streaming down her face. Preston was still twisting her arm. Fighting to control himself, he let go of the girl's arm and she immediately clasped it to her. Preston moved toward her and opened his mouth to say something, but she moved away from him with a look of hate in her eyes. Preston abruptly turned and walked away. She would have nothing to do with him now. He could tell that by the look in her eyes. Still, Preston could not let her go.

The next morning, Preston went to the Grammaton and applied for a marriage license for himself and the girl. The clerk's eyebrows raised when Preston gave the man the girl's name. As one of the highest ranking clerics, John Preston could have his pick of women. A lowly junior cleric was beneath him. That didn't matter to Preston nor did the opinion of anyone in the Grammaton. He knew that he needed to be with this woman even if he did not fully understand why.

Arriving at work, Preston saw her. Every time he saw her, his heart seemed to stop. She was walking with a large box, basically attempting to hold it with one arm since the other was heavily bandaged where she had been hurt on the last raid. Sitting at his desk, across the room, was Partridge who started at the sight of Preston. Partridge was worried about Preston's behavior toward the woman. He seemed intent on hurting her. Partridge got up from his desk, but Preston had already reached the woman. He plucked the box from her arms and gestured for her to lead the way. The girl looked at him warily, but inched around Preston and walked toward the storage unit. Preston followed her and placed the box in the unit. Once they were inside, Preston pulled the door shut and faced the woman. She backed against the wall. Preston gently reached for her hand and picked it up to examine it. He felt the bones. She winced. Nothing appeared to be broken. Inwardly, Preston sighed with relief. He looked into the girl's eyes and she was looking at him with curiosity. Preston nodded at her and left. Partridge who had been waiting for them emerge breathed a sigh of relief when he realized that the girl was unhurt. He noticed that the girl was watching Preston with interest. Partridge looked at both of them with wonder.


	3. Chapter 3

Equilibrium

Chapter Three

Marriage

_Prologue_

They called it spooning.

John Preston remembered walking into his parent's bedroom and seeing his mother and father lying in each other's arms. He recalled asking his mother why his parents slept that way. She smiled at him and said lying together made them feel close. After the war when feeling was outlawed, his parents continued to lie together despite the edict that spouses only sleep together for procreation. Soon, his mother was taken away for sense offense and his father, unable to live without his wife, took an overdose of Prozium.

At the age of 12, Preston was an orphan.

Looking at his wife, lying curled up next to him, Preston remembered how much he resented his parents for leaving him at such a young age and often blamed their relationship for tearing his family apart. Running his fingers through his spouse's hair, he now understood why they could not be apart. Preston could not imagine ever being apart from his wife. Turning over, she woke up and smiled at him. Preston put his hand on her bulging belly. Their first child was due in a couple of weeks and while neither could admit it aloud, the thought of having a baby excited them both. In the bathroom, taking his dose of Prozium, Preston had to admit, as the drug entered his system, that his marriage was not always so happy.

_Getting Married_

His spouse was deeply unhappy when she discovered she was forced to marry him. Forgetting herself, she went to the vice-counsel and pleaded to be released from her obligation to Preston. Standing outside of the vice-counsel's office, Preston could hear her pleading and then shouting at the vice-counsel who immediately ordered her to be placed in solitary confinement until her marriage took place to Preston in 30 days. When his spouse left the vice-counsel's office, she glared at him with so much hatred that it astounded him. From that moment, Preston was counting down the days until he got married.

Preston and his spouse were married in front of the vice counsel a month after she was placed in solitary confinement. Preston wore his best suit and his bride wore white with silver flowers in her hair. Her anger at Preston seemed to have diminished, but she said nothing during the ceremony or on their way home. Preston had all of her belongings sent to his new apartment, which was a gift from Father who said that Preston would need the space to accommodate children.

Yet it would take a while before Preston and his spouse would have children.

Upon entering their new home, Preston's new bride turned toward him, firmly slapped him across the face and walked in their bedroom where she slammed the door behind her. Surprised but unbowed by her reaction, Preston pressed his ear against the door and heard her crying. Preston sighed. He had fought many battles and survived in situations that had killed stronger men, but he had no idea how to cope with his spouse's tears. Quietly, Preston opened the door and saw his spouse staring out the window. The window was covered with a white vinyl, so there was no view but sunshine crept through the vinyl creating a glow around his bride. She turned, saw Preston and turned back to the window. Preston knew that he had to handle this situation cautiously or their marriage would never survive. Softly, Preston shut the door behind him and walked over to her. She shrunk from his outstretched hand and pressed her forehead against the window. Although she could not see out, she imagined the freedom that awaited her on the other side of the window. Preston studied her carefully and tried to imagine how she felt. While feelings were outlawed, his spouse was clearing undergoing a crisis and if Preston did not figure out it soon, his spouse would be taken from him for sense offense.

Again, slowly and with great effort, Preston reached his hand out toward his spouse and this time she allowed him to touch. Her skin was incredibly soft and Preston felt a wave of lustful urgency overtake him. He restrained himself since he instinctively understood that he needed his spouse's respect before he could attempt a physical relationship with her. Instead, he stroked her cheek gently. Quietly, she turned her head and looked at Preston through tear-stricken eyes. He could tell that she was trying to figure out if he was a threat to her. Preston gently took her by the hand and led her to the bathroom. He pointed out the towels and soap and then closed the door behind him. Standing outside the door, he could hear the water and the tears running with equal measure. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. This was going to be a long road.

_Children_

Preston ran quickly through the hospital to the elevator. The maternity ward was on the 7th floor and Preston paced the lift with impatience. Couldn't this thing move any quicker? he thought. The attendant looked at Preston strangely and Preston hastily reconstructed himself to reflect his stoic image. The elevator ground to a halt on the 7th floor and Preston marched into the maternity wing where the nurses were careful to avoid looking him directly in the eye. Since his marriage, Preston's reputation had grown and he was now the highest-ranking cleric in the country. For once, Preston was grateful that people were ignoring him so they could not see the bliss that kept creeping back into his face.

Preston paused before going into his spouse's room. He had no idea how to act around a baby. For a moment, he felt panic. Was he really ready to become a father? How would he treat his child? Preston shook his head. There was no reason to panic now. Straightening his clothes, Preston walked into his spouse's maternity room and saw her holding the baby in her arms. She looked up at Preston and attempted to suppress a smile, but it was in her eyes anyway. Preston nodded at her and shut the door. Walking over to television, Preston unplugged the monitor behind it. Then he turned back to his wife and grinned. She finally felt free enough to smile back and together they looked at their baby—a boy. Preston's spouse gently turned the boy over to his father. Preston was surprised to see tears emerging from his eyes. He looked at his son and promised to be there for him. Two years later, Preston would make the same promise to his daughter. Preston remembered his mother saying that her son was the greatest gift she would ever receive. Now, he finally understood what she meant. Having a family made the relationship with his wife even stronger.

Unfortunately, their shared happiness made his wife reckless. While Preston was good at hiding his emotions, his wife was not and without his realizing it, his spouse was leading a secret life that he was not aware of.

_Betrayal_

It was an ordinary day when Preston's spouse was taken by the sense police for sense offense. It was a Sunday and Preston, his spouse and their children were at home. The children were watching a video of father discussing the history of sense discrimination. Preston was working on some paperwork and his spouse was cleaning their apartment. She was wearing her favorite blue robe and was putting away the children's clothes when Preston walked into the hallway toward the kitchen. He saw his spouse drop a belt and pick it up. Their eyes connected. For the first time since their daughter was born, they seem to connect. Although their children brought them happiness, Preston had become suspicious of his spouse lately. She had become secretive and Preston was concerned that she was going to get herself arrested. Father had requested a step up of sense raids and as a result, even more people were being arrested and incinerated. These people included Preston's friends and co-workers. Preston found himself taking even more Prozium than usual to cope. Nevertheless, within this moment, Preston found himself staring eye-to-eye with his wife and they seemed to reconnect.

Then the door burst open and Preston's life seemed to have ended. His anger and rage at his spouse's betrayal. His children, particularly his daughter, avoided him and Preston shrouded himself in a cloak of righteousness to protect his children from his wife's transgressions. As he watched his spouse being questioned by Patridge concerning her sense offense, Preston witness his spouse's passion and energy and felt rage at his spouse's disloyalty. Once he entered the interrogation room, picked up his spouse and slammed her against the wall. Although he had a million questions, he could barely get them out. Partridge, as he had done in the past, came between Preston and his spouse and pushed Preston out of the room with a whisper, "Think of your children." As Preston left the room, his spouse quietly stated, "Remember Me." Preston turned to glare at her and left the room.

The last time Preston would see his spouse alive was during her incineration. In the early stages of the new regime, Father had ordered that families of persons charged with sense offense must attended the guilty party's incineration. Preston and his children attended the incineration and Preston had to admire his spouse's resolve as she walked into the incineration chamber with her head held high. She did not scream as the flames consumed her body. As Preston and his children walked away, Preston looked back at the incineration chamber half expecting his wife to walk out of it.

She didn't.

_Present Day_

Preston lay in bed without sleeping and when the sun began to light up the room, he got up and went into the bathroom to begin his daily routine. He got a dose of Prozium from his case and then washed his face. His hand brushed against the vial and it crashed to the floor. For a moment, Preston seemed surprised by the loss. He always got his dose of Prozium after he washed his face, not before. Why had he broken his routine?

"What are you doing?" said a sharp male tone behind him.

Preston turned to find his son staring at him. Preston was incredibly proud of his son and knew that one day his son would take his place at the Grammaton. Yet his boy was staring at him suspiously, and Preston began to worry. It was not uncommon for children to turn in their parents for sense offense. After all, Preston had turned in his own mother for sense offense and he had trained his son to be especially vigilant for sense offenders. Still, Preston was worried. What if his son turned him in for sense offense?

"I was getting ready to take my daily dose, but dropped it." Said Preston. "I never do that."

Preston's son stared at him with contempt. "You need to go and get a replacement dose."

Preston nodded and his son left the bathroom. Preston stared at himself in the mirror. He knew that today was the beginning of a different life, for himself and his children, perhaps for all of humanity.


End file.
